Control Your Anger Before It Kills You
Mark Twain tethered, ‘Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.’ Right it is, carrying anger in you or allowing it flourish or even take roots, acts like pouring acid to the roots of the plant, you wish to kill.
There goes a story on the same lines, once Chanakya was found to be pouring sour curd over the roots of a certain plant. One fellow passerby asked him, what is the purpose of doing so, and he replied,” Thorn of this particular plant took life of my father; I am putting curd to its roots so that the species itself gets extinct.” Look at the level your anger and revengeful attitude can take you at.
Anger is a short fuse that shortens your life. It can get you in much more troubles in trivia, like, cardiovascular troubles. When you are buffed up emotionally, you are doing what it is like putting a torch to your arteries. Medical research has repeatedly documented the danger of anger and chronic stress
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Here are two real life examples:
A lady in her late sixties died from a massive stroke. The grandchild kept asking his father what had caused her stroke. He said that his mother’s oil burner had started smoking and she became emotionally upset about it. Within a few minutes she became confused, and then collapsed to the floor. Later in life, when the grandchild became a doctor and studied the psychological connection to the heart and physical disease, and dealt with the consequences of stress and anger in patients’ lives, he could understand what actually happens and how the anger induced stress acts as a catalyser to the heart diseases.
In another case of a business man whose new, fancy car was scratched from one end to the other by a teenage punk. The business man, when he saw the damage, became enraged and had a heart attack on the spot. The doctor treated him in the emergency room and he was still highly agitated. The doctor calmed him down and said the car wasn’t worth the price of his life.Don’t panic on small things because actually everything is pretty small, when it comes to life.
Stress takes you down. It takes dramatic lifestyle changes or else you would be a goner. Things become complicated when we put the weight of the things and circumstances far above us and our health. In our frustrations, anger and irritations, we don’t even realize the hormonal fluctuations happening inside and the reactions that nature plays with us. Yes, with each single irritation, the heart pumps fast, blood thickens with stress, the arteries and veins get swelled up and blood chalking takes it all away.
In a book by Dr. Eliot of University of Nebraska Medical Center,Is It Worth Dying For? (New York: Bantam, 1984), he has advised that the best way to handle stress − particularly intense situations of hostility, anger, and explosive rage − was to be aware that these emotions carry a heavy price, including the potential for sudden death. His mantra was: “Don’t sweat the small stuff….it’s all small stuff anyway.”
I highly recommend his book, still very relevant after all these years. It is a humorous to read about a serious subject. The title of the book is perfectly crafted. Is any emotional event really worth dying for? The fact is that a short fuse doesn’t make for a long life. And if you have high blood pressure to boot, it’s important to recognize your vulnerability and explore ways to cope. For your arteries, stress is really like an arsonist with matches in one hand and a gasoline can in the other. You must disarm this perpetrator before it hurts you.
Chronic Anger& Stress
causes over secretion of stress hormones and chemicals. Acute situational anger can actually promote clot formation. This creates a life combat situation. Since these bodily changes, thicken your blood like a ketchup, whereas, for a healthy body the texture of blood should be like red wine that it flows to nooks and crannies of your body through thousands of miles of tiny capillaries. The thicker and stickier blood cause the greater risk of cardio-vascular and other circulatory problems, such as diabetes.
However, it is easy to say and suggest to calm down but little impractical in day to day life, when you have bad situations around. Now what do we do then? Nevertheless, you must find a way to curb your emotions or run the definite risk of killing yourself slowly or quickly. The minute your blood boils over about something in your life, the first thing that should come into your mind is the following question: Is this upset or argument worth dying for? Now this is a perfect way to put the brackets and defuse the potential explosion.
Beyond that there are many other effective things you can do if you have an anger problem:
- Recognize your anger and the facets associated. Studies show that people, who recognize their emotional issues, and find ways to deal with them, become less prone to angina, irregular heartbeat, heart attack, stroke, and high blood pressure.
- Seek help of a psychologist or psychiatrist if needed. They don’t treat mental patients only; rather they help people to remain normal.
- Admit that you have a problem. Talking and sharing helps.
- Confide in people, make good friends, share and get relaxed. You may not realize but a friend with whom you can share may saves you from visits to a psychiatrist, since he or she may end up giving you wonderful solutions, which because of your anger you would have not thought of.
How to Control Anger ( Before It Kills You):
Now, how to get control over it, what to do? Get hold of it, cool down, take a chill pill, loosen up, and just relax. If only it was that easy — and we know it’s not, there are tools and tips to help taming this beast. Try the following:
Know the Danger:
Just remember, no matter how angry you may feel, the risk of heart attack or stroke is increased with each outburst you let get out of hand. Anger may feel good, but an untimely death certainly doesn’t.
Identify the Triggers:
Won’t it be magical knowing the things that trigger you repeatedly? If you know in advance the thing that may cause harm to you, you will tend to avoid experiencing that. Same is the case with anger. If you know well before your trigger points, avoid mapping them and be saved.
Take a Time Out:
Anger can certainly not be controlled, it can only be channelized. So even if you de-route it at one instance, there are chances that it may get stored and gets blurred out at some other occasion. In order to wash it out completely for that instance, just count slowly to 10 or 100. This shall slow down the aggravation of anger energy and that energy shall also be utilized and shall not get accumulated in you to burst at some other occasion.
Don’t forget to breathe! Deep breathing– also known as diaphragmatic breathing, abdominal breathing, or belly breathing – is the practice of breathing deeply and powerfully, you know you’re breathing deeply when your lower belly rises upon inhalation. The age old Indian technique of breathing, rechank, and kumbhak, anulom-vilom, are best practices to relax you, immediately. Deep abdominal breathing encourages full oxygen exchange — that is, the beneficial trade of incoming oxygen for outgoing carbon dioxide. Not surprisingly, this type of breathing slows the heartbeat and can lower or stabilize blood pressure.
Yes, one must talk about his or her feelings, rather retaining them in depths of our heart, creating tsunami inside. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive – not aggressive – manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn, how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful to yourself and others.
Employ Your Imagination:
This Japanese technique of relaxation is actually a very practical tool to channelize the energy flow created by anger. Just visualize a soothing experience, and go to that “place” as soon as something starts rubbing you the wrong way. Either an experience you’ve had (like feeling the wind and sun on your face during a sail) or being into a flower fill garden early morning. Just close your eyes, go there, revel for a bit, and hopefully return a bit calmer.
Find a mantra
In the same vein as counting to 10, finding a good word or phrase to repeat is also a good tactic to tackle the temper. You may try ‘Om’ or do meditation
Write, Type, Scribble, Scratch:
One very effective approach is to pen down. Ink what you think. This is a good way to write your heart and relax it.
Comics, and Cartoons, Make It Easier:
Warren Buffet, the richest man in the world still makes it to read atleast one comic story every night. He feels, this keeps him cool. Same, it will be with you as well. Try and just chill
Don’t stick to an argument, just move on.
Leave Your Ego Out of It:
One helpful approach, when it comes to anger is to remember to leave your ego at home. Remember, it is better to lose an argument rather losing a company.
And the most effective method, in my view, is what Revered Saint Dr MSG has advised:
“Whenever you feel angry or anger is about to overcome you, drink a glass of cold drinking water and recite the God`s Words for some time. Your anger will definitely subside and you will feel afresh, calmer and relaxed.”