When Rashmi Ahuja called on her lovely daughter-in-law Preeti on Valentine Day and said “Will you be my valentine,” she smilingly replied “Of Course, you are my mother cum friend.”
These were the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law of modern age. Both of them had developed mutual understanding. Both of them used to have fun together and spent their time in an excellent way. They were in different cities, but both of them used to visit each other with their husband.
Seeing the closeness in relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the mother of the daughter-in-law felt the danger of her relation with her daughter getting weak. However, the mother-in-law was very sensible. She understood the feelings of a mother.
When her daughter-in-law’s mother told her that now my daughter is more attached to you, the mother-in-law calmly told her daughter-in-law’s mother that Mother’s status is equivalent to God. Can anyone take her place? The mother became satisfied on hearing this. Like Preeti, every daughter-in-law doesn’t have cordial relations with their mother-in-laws.
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Sometime there is ego clash or issue regarding the household work, and sometimes it is regarding the monetary issue.
There is no problem that doesn’t have a solution. We should have strong will. Every problem can be solved with some discretion and wisdom. The daughter-in-laws should not avoid their duty.
It is true that their responsibilities have increased. They are fulfilling dual responsibilities of home as well as work place. In this situation, they have shortage of time. The husbands are not able to help them much due to their busy schedule. In cities today, Telephone, Water and Electricity bills are paid by them.
But if the mother-in-law is fit, there is no harm in taking her help provided she is happy to do that. Generally the mother-in-laws help in household works. They have the treasure of experience.
They very well know to manage the work. Daughter-in-laws should take care of the emotions of the mother-in-laws. Let them also feel that the house belongs to them too. Keep in mind the things that make her happy. Give importance to her advice and take advice and suggestions from her, this will make her happy.
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Some time make programme of shopping, movie and outing with her also or take her to some religious place, emporium, exhibition, art exhibition. This will increase the sense of belongingness. Along with you, she will also get rid of boredom of daily monotonous life. To maintain this relationship, it is very important to understand this relationship.
The fact is that the daughter-in-law comes to in-law’s house with some presumptions regarding her mother-in-law.
When the beginning is wrong, everything seems to go wrong. Don’t enter your in-laws house like an enemy but enter with a friendly approach and with positive thinking, you will see that everything will fall in place.
Your wavelengths will match. You will be on the same vibration with your friend-mother, your mother-in-law. Today more stress is being given on friendly relations, this is because there is openness and space in this relation and no commitment is involved. Bonding of heart is the life of the relationship on which the long lasting relationship is based.
In the age of modern technology, the I.Q. was given more importance and the significance of E.Q. (Emotional Quotient) was becoming negligible. But when terrible results started coming out of this and intention of life seemed to beat stake, some intellectual people start raising voice in its favour. Relationship of the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law also had to bear the outcome of this trend.
The mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law used to fight earlier also but in spite of fight, there used to be love and also a sense of belongingness between them. Today that bonding and belongingness has lessened. The reason behind this is other diversions in life like ambitions and very busy work schedule that is required to fulfill this ambition. In other words we can say that there is a tendency of considering oneself as supreme and the indifference in relationships.
Today when society has gone through rapid changes, this relationship is also passing through a confusing phase. Today when both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are literate, they should give a new form to this relationship, where there is only coordination and no space for competition.
When the daughter-in-law whole heartedly give mother-in-law the status of a friend, and the mother-in-law also cooperates by leaving the habit of giving orders&interrupting, and trying to nurture the relationship by giving equal status to the daughter in law, then the families will not be broken or scattered and the senior citizens will not live in a sense of insecurity and depression.
Mother in law will not be with you forever, but, if the daughter-in-law lives with her lovingly and develop friendly relation with her till she is alive, then when she will be gone, those memories will fill you with positivity and not with bitterness. The ill-treatment towards the mother in law will fill you such a guilt feeling that you will not have the courage to face yourself.
Such a life will never be complete life, even if you have lot of money, power and worldly pleasures. You may get so many friends, but it is very difficult to get an honest, genuine and well wisher friend like the mother-in-law.
Here the bond between the two is unbreakable. The mother-in-law loves her son more than her life and you are the life of her son. So consider it important, and do not deprive your family of the happiness by ignoring it due to your imprudence, ignorance and stubbornness.
– USHA JAIN SHEEREN
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