What If Failure Didn’t Exist?
Table of Contents
The “Sharma Ji’s Son” Mindset
“Sharma ji’s son has already cleared IIT. What are you doing with your life?”
This sentence has echoed in Indian households for years. It sounds like advice but often comes across as a judgment. Beneath its familiarity lies a deeper cultural belief: failure is not just an outcome but a personal flaw. Success becomes a valuable social currency, while failure is seen as a persistent stain on public perception.
A World Without Failure
Imagine a society without failure. No rejected applications, no failed exams, and no comparisons at family gatherings. Initially, it sounds appealing. However, a world without failure could also mean a world devoid of risk, resilience, and self-awareness.
Failure is not just sadness or disappointment. It is our mind’s reaction to situations that do not unfold as hoped. It breeds self-doubt, embarrassment, anxiety, and sometimes shame, all at once. The same setback can shatter one person and strengthen another, depending on how they choose to perceive it.
The Culture of Comparison
In India, this culture starts very early. Marks gradually become a measure of character. Careers turn into family dreams. Comparisons begin to feel like motivation. By the time children reach adulthood, many no longer fear failure itself; they fear becoming the cautionary tale discussed at dinner tables and family gatherings. The consequences are evident.
The National Crime Records Bureau identifies academic pressure as a key cause of student suicides in the country. Beyond academics, this data points to a culture that links self-worth exclusively to achievement.
The Hidden Value of Failure
Yet failure has its own benefits. People often gain more from failing than from succeeding because mistakes encourage reflection. Success can lead to complacency, while failure reveals what is not working. For students and professionals, failure can foster creativity, adaptability, and self-understanding.
The Glorification of Failure
At the same time, modern culture has begun to overly glorify failure. Phrases like “fail fast” downplay the real struggles that accompany failure, making it seem productive and trendy while ignoring the pain associated with it.
Not every failure is a lesson; some bring only anxiety, withdrawal, and shame. Urging people to “bounce back” can overlook the emotional impact of failure, especially in societies driven by constant comparison.
The Fear of Losing One’s Place
The “Sharma ji ka beta” syndrome makes sense in this context, as it reinforces the comparative nature of identity. Children are often taught that success means rank, salary, and public opinion, without considering what success means to them personally.
Failure is feared not for its nature but for its implications: losing one’s place within the community.
Failure as Feedback
Despite this, many groundbreaking thinkers suggest that this view is too simplistic. Writers, psychologists, and even start-ups now see failure as feedback rather than an endpoint. If failure vanished entirely, innovation might vanish with it. Every major innovation carries the risk of failure.
Beyond Shame and Comparison
Perhaps the real question is not whether failure is unavoidable but why shame has become such a natural part of it. A society that prioritises people over performance would acknowledge failure as a step towards growth and healing without damaging an individual’s self-worth. Otherwise, success would remain hollow.
Most importantly, without failure, people might never discover who they truly are beyond social comparisons. Perhaps progress was never meant to belong solely to Sharma ji’s son but to be a journey of exploration for everyone willing to face disappointment and create a life that transcends standard definitions of success, embracing their many dimensions.
